Picture this.
You’re sitting in a coffee shop, enjoying a cup of much-needed caffeine and reading a book. Someone comes in and takes a seat at the table next to you. Nothing unusual, so you continue to read until the book is snatched away. You look up to see it in your new neighbor’s hands. He peruses through it, drops it back down with a loud “klunk”, then pulls up a chair and begins talking about himself (completely unrelated to the book, which you thought may have been the reason to spark a conversation).
This happened to me a few weeks ago and needless to say, I mumbled an excuse about being late for a meeting and ended the conversation shortly thereafter.
Now, I’m very open to meeting new people and engaging in conversation; even when the dentist is vigorously cleaning my teeth and I can barely talk (but in my defense, he usually asks the questions first). For all I know, this guy could be a genius who just happened to stumble upon this coffee shop to share his grand wisdom with me. So what was it about this encounter that made me disinterested and a bit cautious?
It was the approach.
Let’s change the scenario a bit.
If the stranger began a conversation by saying something along the lines of “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help but notice you were reading book xyz. What are your thoughts on the topic?”, we would have been playing a completely different ball game.
In our industry, we are encouraged to continually network. It’s not rocket science, but there’s certainly a bit of tact that should be incorporated into our approach when expanding our networks.
Be Relevant. Find out what interests them and use it to spark conversation.
Respect Goes a Long Way, so respect their time, their space and their communication habits. The same approach may not work for everyone. Instead, be aware of how they communicate and make sure you don’t breach their comfort zones, especially during the initial conversation.
Listen. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say. Everyone has an interesting story and comes with different experiences. Learn about who they are. Ask questions and create value in the conversation. Remember, communication is a two-way street.
Express Gratitude. Thank them for their time. Ask if you can connect with them in other ways (email, twitter, facebook, etc.). If you do, remember to follow-up with them. A great way to create value in the relationship is to connect them with others in your network who share their interests.